Positive Living for Women Over 40

2006-07-28T17:18:00.000-07:00

Avoid Joining The Self-Deprecator

By: Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

The Self-Deprecating person uses self-deprecating statements to avoid standing out or to avoid engendering positive recognition. A person, who has high self-esteem make statements that clearly and concisely state their truth. We are all meant to shine; each in our own unique way.

Some people use self-deprecating statements to shrink, so that other people won’t feel insecure around them. Some people self-deprecate so others won’t blame them for being conceited or arrogant or criticize them. Some people put themselves down in the hopes others will build them up. This can be an opportunity for an act of kindness on your part.

True humility is awareness of ones strengths coupled with the awareness that we all have unique gifts. There is a difference between boasting and sharing ones accomplishments with those who will be happy to hear. Strategic self-effacement can be advisable, but not if it is an expression of inferiority feelings.

Stop people from putting themselves down. Every self inflicted put-down statement adds to a person’s lack of belief in him/herself and his/her abilities. Many people who tend to do this need someone else to give them permission to stop doing it.

The following statements are a few examples how you can avoid joining the Self-Deprecator and helping them to stop the put-downs.

• S: "I’m not so smart. But if it were me, I think…"

R: "You are entitled to state your opinion. Your opinion is as valid as anyone else’s. If your idea is good, that in itself is testimony to your smarts."

• S: "I didn’t do a very good job. But I worked hard on this project."

R: "If you did your best—that is what is important. You have a right to tell me that you worked hard on this project without minimizing your performance."

• S: "I never do anything right."

R: "Never is an absolute—there aren’t any absolutes. It is worthwhile to be more objective about what you do well and what you don’t."

• S: "My memory is like a sieve."

R: "Fortunately you remember a vast number of things. Every time you remember something, let it register that your brain has a tremendous storage and retrievable system."

• S: "I’m always putting myself down."

R: "It’s great that you are doing so now. It gives me an opportunity to help you change this pattern/habit.”

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Author, International Speaker, Inspirational Leader empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-07-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

Success, Stress and Happiness

By: Dionna Sanchez

Recently I have come to some conclusions about my life and the changes I want to make in it. I had slowly been heading toward these changes within the past year, but it took some time away from it all to truly get serious about implementing them.

You probably know where my thoughts are headed since I know that most of us moms discuss this subject: being too busy.

We can talk about it, or we can do something about it.

You see, I’ve found that a lot of moms talk about being too busy and feeling overwhelmed but when it comes down to it, they refuse to say “no” or allow themselves to not get things accomplished.

I’m just like you. It is extremely hard for me to not demand so much of myself or remind myself that everything cannot be done all of the time. This mentality cripples us and creates great stress in our lives and in our homes. I started thinking about how my children would remember me as a mom when they grew up. And I thought, “What good is it for me to have everything done; get it all accomplished – but be left a puddle of stress in the process? Is that how I want my children to remember me?” And of course, the answer was a resounding “NO!”

Let me ask you a question that I’ve asked myself before on many occasions. Why is it that we as moms, feel that we must keep our homes perfectly organized and picked up; our children in all the latest groups and activities; involved in every “volunteer request” that comes up; homemade meals; and not forget any gifts, thank-you notes, or social opportunities that come around in the meantime? Plus, have a little something on the side (whether it’s a job/business, or hobby) for ourselves as well? The answer I came up with was very unflattering. I came to the conclusion that we expect all of this out of ourselves because we feel we are perceived as being successful if we do it.

We look at it like if we are sooo busy then hey, everyone must love us and want us to do things and be around us, right?

Do you FEEL successful? I’m willing to bet you don’t. And if you ask your frazzled, stressed-out mom friends… I bet they don’t feel successful either.

I can’t tell you what to do or make your choices for you. For me, I’ve decided to start saying “no” more often; to allow the laundry to sit a little more if need be, and to ease up on my computer work so I have more time to laugh and play with my family. I am working on delegating more tasks (which is a very hard thing for me to do!)

To me, being happy means I am successful. And happiness in our home only comes with less stress and a lighter load.

So if people think I’m boring because I have free time and no social invitations on the horizon… so be it. I plan on being too content, rested, and happy…to care.

Slowing my family’s life down is a goal I’m still working on; but I’m headed in the right direction. How about you?

~ Dionna Sanchez is realigning her priorities from her home in Idaho. Her three kids ages 17, 8, and 6 are the most important things in her life aside from her husband. Learn more about putting your family first at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com/newsletter

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-07-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

Decide To Have A Really Great Day!

By: Hilda Carroll

Believe it or not, it is possible to radically alter how you feel without changing your circumstances. When I first (very sceptically!) tried this technique I had such a great day it blew my socks off – and I was generally very miserable at work at the time.

Each morning, before you dive head-first into your day, think very clearly about how you want your day to be, and most importantly how you want to be during the day. For me, I find it particularly effective to write it down. But the most important thing is that you decide how you want your day to go, and then focus on that for at least a few minutes before you get started.

The more energy you can put into these thoughts, the better your day will be, so if you normally spend your journey to work thinking “Ugh, I have to do x and meet y, and I’m tired and stressed" and so one, try going over and over in your mind your new script instead: “Today I’m going to get through my workload productively and effectively. I’m going to be relaxed and confident and will capably deal with every situation whether it is planned or unexpected. I’m going to feel great all day and enjoy what I’m doing and the people I’m interacting with.” Substitute this for whatever you want from your day.

As a former Doubting Thomas my own reaction to this suggestion was “yeah, right!” But then I thought, “Well what have I got to lose?” The results surprised me. Why not have an open mind and give it a try yourself.

Hilda Carroll is a life and business coach who specialises in helping clients to discover the ability of being happy while they are pursuing their goals, the achievement of which then becomes a bonus, rather than the source of their happiness.

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-07-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

Breakthrough System for Living Better, Longer

By Kenneth Little

Living better and longer is what all of us hope for. There is a simple strategy that will provide the action plan to fulfil your hope.

Living better calls on you to change your outlook on life. You have to have an attitude to life change. You see the challenge many of us face is that we have no way of getting out from underneath a mountain of stress.

One comment from a work team member caused me to take a fresh look at my own attitude to life. He said that life was a box of chocolates.

You can view them as either a "threat" or a "treat". In my big boy days - in years past -they were a "threat" as I faced the task of getting serious about my new fit boy image and healthy lifestyle.

Today they are a "treat" because I can enjoy one without feeling the remorse of facing a box stuffed with empty wrappers. And wondering how I had so quickly consumed the lot. The worst feeling was the sudden loss of self-esteem because of my weakness.

You can learn a lot from looking at the difference between the "threat" and the "treat". It's just one letter "h" which for me stands for "how" you view them.

Every negative event in life that threatens your self-esteem should be viewed like a box of chocolates.

You can give yourself a pat on the back as you realize you can forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made. Then learn not to be trapped in a life of repeating them once you have your healthy lifestyle.

Your Breakthrough System for Living Better - Longer will serve you well as long as you live each day as a new experience where you feel good about yourself in all you do.

Copyright 2006 Kenneth Little

Kenneth Little is a writer, teacher, public speaker and the publisher of a re-released classic - in a revealing ebook- that will show you how to get the best of health and wealth out of all your future years. Find more on this at: http://www.Young-at-Sixty.com

True success will be yours no matter what your age. Amazing "How I Became Young at Sixty" brings renewed strength to your body, hope to your mind and increased prosperity to your lifestyle. You Can Get your Free ebook "How I Became Young at Sixty" by going to: http://www.Young-at-Sixty.com/get-your-f-r-e-e-ebook.htm

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-06-30T09:52:00.002-07:00

The Path To Happiness

By: Sharron Myers

Happiness is something that so many people strive for each day and yet many times it eludes them. Often, they feel that happiness can be theirs if only their situations were different. Have you ever felt like that?

So often we get caught up in what I call the “if only’s”. If only my husband were nicer to me. If only I had a better job. If only the children were grown and out of the house. The list can go on and on.

We can waste so much of our precious time dreaming of the “if only’s”. So many people fall into this trap and end up miserable most of their lives.

The problem is that they are looking for happiness to come to them somehow. As if it were something that could be possessed. When happiness does happen to come it seems so fleeting that it quickly passes away.

People erroneously think that happiness is just a feeling like some passing fancy. I am here to tell you that happiness is not a feeling, it can be a way of life. Happiness can be yours on a daily basis if you will only follow some basic principles.

First, you must live in the NOW. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised to us so you need to be present in the now.

Secondly, you must control your thinking and the thoughts that pass through your mind. Happiness can be called a state of mind and the way to happiness is bringing your mind into its proper state.

If I live in Texas and I want to be in California I need to change states. In order for me to be in that State I need to make some changes. In this analogy we will decide to take a train. The train must be going in the proper direction and we will arrive at our destination. We must know which train we are on, or we may end up where we don’t want to be.

Think of this train as your thoughts. That’s right, your train of thought. If you don’t want to stay in Texas you have to get on the right train. If you let any train of thought into your mind then you will be taken to and fro and never arrive at the destination you want.

The question then is how do we get on the right train?The ticket to getting on the right train is called gratitude.

Gratitude is an attitude and as we look to all that we have to be thankful for instead of dwelling on what our problems are we will find that we too can be whisked away to the state that we wish to be in.

There is a path to happiness and that path is gratitude.

This article is bought to you by Sharron Myers Sharron Myers has been a teacher of Spiritual Truth for over 30 years. She also is a Certified Aromatherapist and Personal Development Consultant. Be sure to check out her site: http://www.sharron-myers.com/ To Live the Life You Want,

Learn the Skills You Need www.sharron-myers.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://greatideasforwomenover40.com/.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://marketingforher.com/ and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-06-30T09:52:00.001-07:00

2006-06-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

The Path To Happiness

By: Sharron Myers

Happiness is something that so many people strive for each day and yet many times it eludes them. Often, they feel that happiness can be theirs if only their situations were different. Have you ever felt like that?

So often we get caught up in what I call the “if only’s”. If only my husband were nicer to me. If only I had a better job. If only the children were grown and out of the house. The list can go on and on.

We can waste so much of our precious time dreaming of the “if only’s”. So many people fall into this trap and end up miserable most of their lives.

The problem is that they are looking for happiness to come to them somehow. As if it were something that could be possessed. When happiness does happen to come it seems so fleeting that it quickly passes away.

People erroneously think that happiness is just a feeling like some passing fancy. I am here to tell you that happiness is not a feeling, it can be a way of life. Happiness can be yours on a daily basis if you will only follow some basic principles.

First, you must live in the NOW. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised to us so you need to be present in the now.

Secondly, you must control your thinking and the thoughts that pass through your mind. Happiness can be called a state of mind and the way to happiness is bringing your mind into its proper state.

If I live in Texas and I want to be in California I need to change states. In order for me to be in that State I need to make some changes. In this analogy we will decide to take a train. The train must be going in the proper direction and we will arrive at our destination. We must know which train we are on, or we may end up where we don’t want to be.

Think of this train as your thoughts. That’s right, your train of thought. If you don’t want to stay in Texas you have to get on the right train. If you let any train of thought into your mind then you will be taken to and fro and never arrive at the destination you want.

The question then is how do we get on the right train?The ticket to getting on the right train is called gratitude.

Gratitude is an attitude and as we look to all that we have to be thankful for instead of dwelling on what our problems are we will find that we too can be whisked away to the state that we wish to be in.

There is a path to happiness and that path is gratitude.

This article is bought to you by Sharron Myers Sharron Myers has been a teacher of Spiritual Truth for over 30 years. She also is a Certified Aromatherapist and Personal Development Consultant. Be sure to check out her site: www.sharron-myers.com To Live the Life You Want,

Learn the Skills You Need www.sharron-myers.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-06-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

Do You Want To Be Successful & Wealthy? The Right Attitude is All You Need!

By: Sarju Pabari

A famous quote says "Your attitude today determines your success tomorrow". The most valuable asset you can possess is a positive attitude towards your life. Your attitude determines how much success you can achieve in all aspects of your life. Your attitude is also one of the first things people notice about you, and impacts on all the business and personal relationships you will have. Positive attitude is not a product of heredity; but with proper training, anyone can acquire this important trait.

If your attitude is not positive, then you can use some tools to do an "attitude tune-up".

1. You must understand the power of attitude.
Your attitude is the most powerful tool for positive action that can help you become successful, so you will need to understand this before you can work on the following steps towards adjusting your attitude for the better. Your attitude impacts on everything you do, the way you think and your motivational levels. In order to turn your attitude around and get into action towards your goals, you need to be able to consistently fight any negative or pessimistic thoughts that you may get. You need surround yourself with positive things and people, and you need to keep on your ultimate goal of achieving the success and wealth you want.

2. You must make a choice to be in command of your mind and attitude
Taking full responsibility for what goes on in your mind by monitoring your thoughts is the first step towards being in control of your attitude. The power of choice is very influential in our lives. In order for you to be successful and wealthy, you must first choose to be successful. While you are working your way towards your goals, you will encounter some hurdles, you may experience some failure; but is very important that you control how you respond to whatever that happens, and keep your attitude positive, while working towards your goals.

So, what will be your choice? A positive or a negative attitude? It may be easy to make this choice, but what tends to be a challenge is to actually stick with this choice no-matter what setbacks you face. "Program" your attitude by training yourself to be always positive, maintain a positive inner dialogue, and keep your focus on your long term goals. Choosing to have the right attitude will help you become successful in all areas in all areas of your life.

3. Identify and stop the negative attitude that holds you back
Assess your present day attitude and identify aspects of which may be holding you back from becoming successful. What are the underlying causes of your negative attitude? What attitude do you need to propel yourself towards success and wealth? Do an attitude assessment and work an all the attitude that is keeping you away from being successful and wealthy. Rid yourself of any debilitating attitude, and focus on the positive attitude which will help you attain your optimum potential in all areas of your life.

4. Turn your attitude into action and find your purpose and passion
After you have identified what it is that is holding you back, you will be ready to take on the next step of looking ahead and analyzing where you want your life to go and what you want to achieve. In order to be successful, you must understand the importance of living your life with purpose and passion, and having a personal vision of what you want in your life. If you do not have a vision, you have nothing to work towards, and therefore you can not be consistently motivated. Once you have your success goals specified, then you can easily turn your attitude into action as you work towards these goals.

5. Develop strategies for maintaining the right attitude
For you to be successful in your life and in your business, it is important to be able to maintain the right attitude at all times, regardless of any setbacks you may face. You will need to prepare yourself for handling any challenging situations that may threaten to provoke negative attitudes that will throw you off course. You must develop some self-motivation techniques to help you maintain the right attitude towards your goals; namely affirmations, visualization, positive attitude talk, enthusiasm etc. By using these tools, you will be well prepared to achieve professional and personal success. It is also important to build supportive relationships that will get you through challenging times.

By simply following the steps outlined above, you can have the right attitude which will help you transform your life and achieve any success you want.

Sarju Pabari is an Internet Marketer and he publishes a blog on a very successful Home Internet Business called Success University at www.newsuccessuniversityblog.com You can find further information about Success University at sarz.successuniversity.com/special.aspx

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-03-23T08:23:00.000-08:00

True Happiness

By Kim Olver

Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of their unhappiness or frustration. After all, wouldn’t life be practically perfect if the significant people in our lives would simply do things the way we want them to or do what we think is best for them? Actually, this is the kind of thinking that perpetuates the misery!

I agree that most of today’s unhappiness centers on important people in our lives not cooperating with us. Can anyone relate to that? Have you ever had a child who makes a decision that puts them in serious danger? Have you ever had a significant other decide to relocate or make an employment decision with which you were not in agreement? Did one of your parents ever say something critical to you that rocked your confidence? Ever had a supervisor who micromanaged your work and never gave credit for your good work performance? I think you get the idea. Any one or combination of these things can be a source of unhappiness for us and I’m sure you can add several others to the list.

While we are in situations such as these, it sure feels like if the others in our life would just cooperate and be the way we want them to be, and then our lives would be so much better, happier and more fulfilling. While this may, in fact, be true, what I also believe is this. While we are busy trying to get those significant others in our lives to do things our way, the behaviors we typically engage in to move others in our desired direction are exactly those behaviors that damage, and ultimately destroy, our relationships.

You know the behaviors I’m talking about: punishing, guilting, complaining, nagging, threatening, criticizing, “the silent treatment”, and if we are particularly savvy, rewarding to control, otherwise known as bribing.

If you are one of those people whose first choice of action is to negotiate and open the doors of communication, then you are rare. Ask yourself what do you typically resort to when negotiations fail?

I know one of my more polished behaviors is nagging. I am a world class nag---just ask my children. You know the drill. “How about cleaning up your room today?” Thirty minutes later, after the child is still in front of his video game, “Are you going to get to that room today?” Maybe two hours later, several decibels louder, “What about that ROOM?” Then, as a last frustration, it’s “Will you get off your lazy a*# and clean your blankety blank blank room!!!!” Ever been there? Did it work to get the room cleaned? In my case, it usually didn’t.

However, I’ve have had some parents tell me that repeated nagging does work but then my next question usually has a different answer---At what cost? What was the cost of getting that room cleaned? First, there was the cost of you losing control and being a person you probably don’t want to be and secondly, there was a definite cost to the relationship between you and your child. Do you believe that after an exchange such as that one, the two of you will be ready and willing to have a meaningful discussion about life or anything else about which you may like to talk? Probably not.

What I am about to say probably goes against what you have believed the good majority of your life and that is that you, and you alone, are responsible for your own happiness. If you are waiting for someone to do something differently or for a particular thing to manifest itself in your life in order for you to be happy, then you are operating from the outside in instead of the inside out.

I am not here to tell you to stop what you are currently doing. If you want to hold on to your beliefs that when your husband becomes more affectionate, your children more obedient, your wife more supportive, your boss more appreciative or you to get your education, pay off your credit cards, buy your first home, etc. in order for you to be happy, then go ahead. But for those of us who want to practice inside out thinking, we don’t like to give the power to others to control our happiness or any of our other moods or emotions. We know that we are responsible for ourselves and no one else.

What I can help you with is learning how to be the person you want to be, feel the emotions you want to feel by changing what you do and how you think about things. There is a quote I want to leave you with from Jimmy Dean. “You can’t change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” This is representative of true inside out thinking. People and events are going to be what they are around us. There is very little we can do to impact other people’s behavior and the uncontrollable events in our lives but there is always something each of us can do to manage those things better.

Kim Olver has a degree in counseling, is a certified and licensed counselor. She is a certified reality therapy instructor. Kim is an expert in relationship, parenting and personal empowerment, working with individuals who want to gain more effective control of their lives and relationships. Visit www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.
Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-03-15T12:09:00.000-08:00

What Are You Saying: A Key Step to Your Positive Attitude

By: Wildfire Marketing Group Content Development Team

Part of reaching beyond your limitations to your success is asking yourself questions that will help you identify your limitations, so that you can reach beyond. Some of us are not aware of what we are even saying to ourselves. What are you saying?! Your self talk can limit you, empower you or elevate you. It is your choice. You can develop another self-talk language; one that empowers or elevates you, one that replaces the voice of limitations. Often times, those of us that have “arrived” or have achieved tremendous success in our lives are not aware of the limiting voice that is hindering us or slowing our pace to help us get to that next level. Your next level could be that you are an executive but realize you need to spend more time with your family. It could be that you want to pursue a new career. It could be that you want to enhance your relationship with God. Whatever the case, What Are You Saying?! Inevitably, what you are saying to yourself, starts with what you are thinking. However, do you listen to what I call your self- talk conversation?

Do you call yourself stupid when you make a mistake? Are you constantly giving other people accolades but not allowing yourself to receive any? Do you tell yourself that it is too hard even before you start? Do you tell yourself that the way you are treating people is fine (even though many people are saying it is negative), because they don’t understand? Do you tell yourself why the continuous negative interaction you are receiving in your relationship is justified? What Are You Saying?! Here are a few points that will help you with your self- talk conversation.

1. First understand that self-talk is not about saying what “feels” good to you. There is no healing, or growth in this type of conversation. The self-talk that you want to develop is open, honest, truthful, and empowering.

2. Pay attention to what you are receiving. (What you listen to, watch, read. Who you associate with.)

3. Is it or are they enhancing you, healing you, or empowering you?

4. Now pay attention to what you are saying to yourself when you are in negative situations; positive situations, compromising situations; situations that have you backed in a corner. What is the difference with your self-talk conversation? (Your self-talk in your negative or compromising situations reveals what you really think and feel about yourself)

5. Speak something positive into your spirit each day (preferably before you start your day).

6. If you have a problem telling yourself positive things, start with just one each morning. Eventually build your list up to ten.

7. We all deserve good things and an honest, successful life. Discover why you deserve one, and how you can achieve success in an honest and positive way. Then develop a self-talk conversation to encourage yourself every step of the way.

8. Be honest with yourself, and allow yourself to also recognize your weaknesses. (Healing helps you to reach beyond your limitations). Allow yourself to recognize one thing that you do that is wrong. Acknowledge it, decide what you are going to do to rectify it, and then develop a positive self-talk language or conversation to help you stop doing it. (Don’t get stuck in this negative place-it's not healthy).

9. Recognize that your self-talk should not continuously or frequently include conversation that is derogatory towards others (so that you can elevate yourself). That is not healthy for you and eventually for the people around you.

10. Finally (I repeat) your self-talk language or conversation should be open, honest, truthful, and empowering.

At first developing or redefining your self-talk may be painful or seem ridiculous, but over time you will reap tremendous rewards in the way you perceive yourself, your relationships, your career, your life!

Clestine I. Herbert is an empowerment speaker and founder of Divine Discipline, which provides professional and personal development training, life and achievement coaching and organizational development consulting.

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.
Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-03-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

Positive Thinking and Your Creative Mind-7 Steps to Sucess

By: Marie Gervacio

You have a bright idea hidden somewhere in the back of your mind that you just can't wait to test out. The question is, do you really want to bring it out into the light? What could motivate you to churn your creative, inspiring juices to their utmost flavor?

Did you know that it always helps to set a time limit to your personal goals? Set yourself up so you can accomplish the most tasks in record time. For example, mowing the lawn in an hour before the big game on TV. A correct and positive attitude in whatever you do will make things easier, and even enjoyable.

It's simple. If you begin to allow yourself a bit of positive thinking then you will begin to realize things that you never thought possible. Thinking big is indeed the American Way and that what made our country prosperous. You can follow other great Americans who tapped into their creative mind and began to thing big.

Discover some tips to make it through your first week of possibility thinking even if you're just sitting in your favorite couch. Your mind is constantly at work for you. Tap into it's great resource while doing everyday activities.

1. Act. You must take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap. Action = deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future. My mother (probably quoting someone else) always said, "Action speaks louder than words". Without action, passion is void.Dreams become reality when you simply start by tinkering with your mind, then with your hands. And if the idea weakens or falters you can always go back to it later until you finish it. Thomas Edison and his Dream Team had to go back to the idea of a light bulb and recalculate it over 1,000 times before the first working light bulb begin to light the world.

2. Love. Commit to yourself. Then commit to those you love to powerfully create a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart and soul, out of love rather than fear. The American Dream will always be there, but a dream will still be a dream without motion. Be amazed as the transformation begins.

3. Live. Embrace moments and opportunities. Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. Every time you hit on something that may appear too extreme why not give it a shot anyway. See if it will work. You may be surprised with the results. If you are not then decide to use that moment to learn from it and make the appropriate shift. Learning and growing from mistakes and failures is a part of living.

4. Be grateful. Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Learn to utilize what you have in your hands and make use of it in the most constructive way. Necessity is the mother of invention. Have you ever been stuck without something you needed and had to make do with something else? (MacGyver,from the famous tv show, was famous for that!) How grateful were you that you had the means to solve your situation? Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude and away from poverty consciousness.

5. Be Passionate. Use a Passion Formula of Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda whirlwind. The former is based on increased knowledge and abundance while the latter focuses on scarcity and lack. As you face people or tasks that may seem harder than scaling the summit of the Himalayas, allow yourself to realize that the task is just as important as giving out orders to your subordinates. You would rather be richly passionate!

6. Laugh. Keep humor at the forefront of thought, laughing at and with yourself whenever possible. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! I have yet to see a comedian ever go hungry even though his jokes are as 'old as great-grandma'. Life has too much to offer to allow yourself to mope around in self pity. Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

7. Discover Your Purpose. Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. Realizing how you wish to be remembered when you pass from this life is a truly driving force. Your purpose for being can be a seemingly simple as being a great parent to as elaborate as discovering miraculous cures.

When you have a strong purpose no one can take your passionate future from you except for you! Truly, as long as there's still breath in your body, there is no end to how much you can accomplish in a lifetime. Discovering and following your purpose will enable you to enjoy your work. Celebrate in the discovery that acting on your creative mind's thoughts is fulfilling your purpose. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision. Activate your positive thinking. Stretch your imagination. Think bigger than you feel comfortable. Act on your thoughts. The number one tip here is action. You want to start practicing these steps.Think about this: It is unfortunate that so many people still do not use a computer because it appears too complicated to begin using. Or maybe they just keep putting it off till a more convenient time. These are just a couple of limitations one can set up for themselves. Limitations and failure to act on ideas and opportunities leave many as a dim bulb in a dark corner.

Alert! You are not doomed to darkness. You are interested in living a life of purpose and love. The wonderful, creative idea in you is about to be released. You are interested in doing this because you are reading this article. Fortunately if you truly desire something, the will to attain it will open your creative mind to find a way.Now you need only to begin to act on your desire to create. Act now! Make your path to creativity and follow your purpose. Take your first step today with a positive attitude.

Article Source: http://www.article-hangout.com
Marie Gervacio is founder and editor of Article Blender.com ShineYourStar.com, and SimpleBeautyTips.com. Get free content for your website, ezine or blog and/or publish your articles at ArticleBlender.com. Submitted with Article Distributor

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise to go http://GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com.
Denise Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, “Testosterone-Free Marketing” for women business owners. Go to http://MarketingForHer.com and click on “Get the Book!”

2006-03-01T12:09:00.000-08:00

Build Your Self Confidence

By Marie Ynami

Learn to accept yourself
The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world in perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack. This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.

Liberate yourself -
Go out and do what you like! How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment. Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it. However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart. The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

Find your flock -
Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step. The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

Article provided by Marie Ynami of http://www.celebratingwomensday.com/ . Celebrating Women's Day is a resource site especially for women. Marie Ynami offers different helpful resources for women - learn more about Marie Ynami by visiting http://www.marieynami.com/

2006-01-22T08:21:00.000-08:00

A Matter of Trust

By Robyn Dear

Trust in the process of life
And your fears will just drift away
Have faith in yourself and enjoy
The blessings of every new day

Trust in the process of life
Know you are worthy to receive
Your life will reflect your perception
And manifest what you believe

Trust in the process of life
Limitation is just an encumbrance
There is plenty enough for us all
So open yourself up to abundance

Trust in the process of life
Don=t be afraid to follow your dream
There=s no place that life cannot take you
When you nurture your self-esteem

Trust in the process of life
It really is simple indeed
When you believe that life supports you
It will deliver all that you need

Robyn Dear heals by day and writes by night. To experience her poems in Flash format or download her book “A Tapestry of Life” visit http://www.thecentreofinfinity.com/

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-24T11:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Gobble-Gobble! (This is hilarious.)

Here's a funny I just have to share with you.

Go to: http://www.yahoo.americangreetings.com/category.pd?path=40687&

And click on "Survival Song." I laffed out loud - all three times I watched it. Lordy!

Happy Turkey Day,

Denise Michaels
Author, "Testosterone-Free Marketing"

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-23T07:27:00.000-08:00

The Importance of Thanksgiving

By David Leonhardt

Thanksgiving is the most important holiday of the year. Oh, sure, Christmas is grand, and I know it has many, many fans. I'm not knocking Christmas, but Thanksgiving is more important. And Easter has its fans, too. Rebirth is a wonderful thing, but I still say Thanksgiving is more important. Yes, the kids might put in a good word for Halloween. I am sure they enjoy the costumes and the sugar overdose, but Thanksgiving is more important.

Why? Because the two most important words in the English language are "Thank You". This is true for business success, for social pleasure, even for self-actualization.

For business success, a thank you tells a prospect or partner that you are appreciative of what she has just done. It shows you have a genuine interest in that person and the business relationship.

For social interaction, expressing gratitude is equally important to show how you value the other person and the social relationship you have with him. Thank you is a bonding phrase.
But thanksgiving is most important on a personal level for our own happiness. This is true for anybody who has ever lived, but it is even more true for us today.

Consider how much we have. More than any of our ancestors, we live in the Land of Plenty. We have more than anybody who lived at any time before. And for those of us who live in the developed world, we have more than most people on our little planet even today.

I'm not just talking about "stuff". Oh, sure, we have digital color televisions and computers that take us around the world faster than the speed of sound. And we have 31 flavors of ice cream waiting for us on every second street corner. And we throw out more "junk" than we ever needed to own in the first place. But we have so much more than just stuff. Consider the following:

FREEDOM: More of the world lives in a democracy than ever before, and democracy is becoming more open or "democratic" with every year (perhaps in part due to the Internet).

OPPORTUNITIES: With freedom and affluence comes opportunity. We have more opportunity to make more money, to earn it the way we wish, to choose our profession, our location, even our lifestyle. Women have just about reached equality with men in most of the developed world, and more people are able to flee oppressive regimes.

KNOWLEDGE: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? With freedom, comes the ability to satisfy our curiosity: knowledge. And with knowledge comes a thirst for freedom. Let's face it, the idea of "the ignorant masses" has become an anachronism. Even the dumbest among us has more knowledge than most people who lived a couple centuries ago. (I said more "knowledge", not more "wisdom", but that's another topic.)

HEALTH: Just surviving past childhood used to be a major accomplishment. Now we expect to live into our 80s or 90s. And we expect – no, we demand – to have exceptional health care all along the way (even those who are afraid to go to the doctor!).

This list could keep growing, but I think these are the major benefits of living in the twenty-first century, especially in the developed world. What does that have to do with Thanksgiving and happiness? Well, follow this train of thought. Whatever you have, you can either appreciate or not. If you appreciate it -- I mean really notice that you have it, that it is good, that you feel good about having it -- it will bring you happiness. However, if you get used to it, take it for granted, and focus on getting something you don't have, it won't bring you happiness.

Appreciation is the key to happiness. Whatever you truly and proactively appreciate, whether "stuff" or education or a vacation, will bring you happiness. But in this fast-paced, dog-eat-dog, over-stimulated society how can we appreciate anything? Sadly, many of us who have the most to be grateful for express gratitude the least and feel the least appreciation. It seems the more we have the more we want. The more we want, the less we appreciate what we have. The less we appreciate, the less value there is to having anything, which may explain why we keep wanting more

The secret to feeling that appreciation we often overlook is in expressing our gratitude vocally or in writing. How can we possibly fail to appreciate something when we say "Thank you" for it and focus our attention on the appreciation?

Christmas is important. Easter is important. Halloween is important for the kids. But for our own personal happiness, there is nothing like a truly heartfelt Thanksgiving.

David Leonhardt is author of The Get Happy Workbook http://www.T heHappyGuy.com/happiness-workbook.html and Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html and publisher of the free ezine: Daily Dose of Happiness. http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html Email: amabaie@phastnet.com

2005-11-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

Attitude – It Can Make All The Difference!!

By Akanksha Sinha

It has been rightly said, “Life is an attitude of the mind!”

In our daily lives we meet a lot of different kinds of people, travel, work etc. Each day adds to your experience and knowledge in some way or the other. Many of us crib about simple things each day…like a hectic day at work, a bus missed or an exam you did poorly in.

Do we ever sit back and think of the attitude we show towards different situations. Our attitude towards things, whether positive or negative, affects our lives in a big way!! If you have the right attitude towards situations and people, the biggest of challenges will leave you unperturbed. However, a negative attitude might just make you miss a golden opportunity.
I must confess here that I am not very much of an optimist myself and maybe that’s the reason why I realize the importance of having a positive attitude towards everything you do and every situation you face!!

To do something in life, you have to first believe that you can do it! Once your mind believes you can, your body would automatically follow suit.

Try to do the following:
* Wake up every morning with a positive attitude and tell yourself, “I can if I want to!”
* Once your mind thinks like that your whole being would get refreshed and work in tandem with your mind to achieve your goals!
* It is not easy to think like this but by trying everyday, you will surely manage just fine.

I am sure that this daily exercise of the mind will leave you a more enriched and positive.

About The Author: Akanksha Sinha - is a freelance Web Content Writer and Web designer. You can email him at aks_design@rediffmail.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

Sell With an Attitude

By Jay Conners

Note from Denise: Personally I think it takes more than "positive attitude" to be good at selling - but without it? Well the author is right - fuggedaboudit.

When selling a product or giving a sales presentation, you always want to convey a positive, upbeat attitude at all times. This will send a crystal clear message to your audience that you believe in the product you sell, and that they should also.

It is rare that you come across a person in sales that is down on his luck, moping around with his head down, and feeling sorry for himself. This person is definitely in the wrong business.
Attitude is everything in sales, from the gleam in your eye, right down to the polished shoes on your feet.

Have you ever heard the expression “smile, it’s contagious?” well it’s true, your smile is contagious, so smile when you greet your customer, they will return the gesture.

Imagine someone trying to sell you something without ever looking you in the eye, or shaking your hand upon meting you. This would be an indication to most people that the person selling the product does not believe in, or care about their product. Imagine asking them questions and being left with blank stares and empty answers. You will most likely not be doing business with this person.

The above example would be a description of someone “not” selling with an attitude.
When I say “sell with an attitude,” I don’t mean that you have to go out and buy a T-shirt that says “I have an attitude.”

An attitude can be many things, but in sales you want it to be positive. It can be nice, or laid back. You don’t have to be loud and boisterous. It is not necessary to give two handed political hand shakes, or go around back slapping to sell your products. The ingredients to selling with an attitude are at your fingertips. In fact you were born with them. All you need is a smile, confidence in yourself and your product, the ability to look people in the eye, and product knowledge.

Also, appearance can speak volumes about your attitude as well. So make sure you look the part. If people think that you don’t have the ability to take care of yourself, they will also think that you don’t have the ability to take care of them.

So sell with an attitude. Smile, be happy, put a spring in your step. Let the world know that you are here to sell, and that you love what you do. Remember, the better your attitude, the better your sales results will be.

About The Author: Jay Conners has more than fifteen years of experience in the banking and Mortgage Industry, He is the owner of http://www.jconners.com, a mortgage resource site, he is also the owner of http://www.callprospect.com, a mortgage lead company.

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

Daily Ways to Nurture Yourself and Peace of Mind
(Part 3 of 3)

By Denise Michaels

Take a bubble bath with candles and soothing music.

Go to bed extra early.

Buy a pair of pretty, soft, comfy jammies - and wear them.

Spend a solid 10 minutes before going to bed putting on all your moisturizers and stuff that you buy but often don't take time to use. Be girl-y on purpose. Put the stuff on your hands, too. In a couple days you’ll really start noticing how much softer your skin is when you wake up in the morning.

Meditate or pray. Don’t get to specific or controlling about the “form” or “way” that you want things to show up. God or Spirit is much more open-minded and infinite in his/her thinking – so don’t limit yourself.

Learn about Feng Shui. Start doing little Feng Shui fixes to your home and workspace. You will feel better and get what you want more quickly and effortlessly.

Buy yourself flowers. Go to a Farmers Market where they're an inexpensive indulgence.

Think about what you want to be in the future. Start saying that's what you are. It's not "fake it till you make it" it's "practise the future." You'll start stepping into that role as your new reality.

Go to services at a church, temple or synagogue. Don't gripe about how everyone is probably a hypocrite. Really listen to the message of the sermon or talk by the clergy person. A couple types of guilt free churches? Unity and Religious Science.

Go to a gym and workout. Take a yoga class. Make a habit of exercise. Increase a little bit every week. Gradually build up to 4-5 days a week.

Give up crappy food. Stuff that adds no nutrtional value like white flour, deep fried anything, white rice, pasta, french fries. It's all poison. Gradually clean up your body. You'll gradually start feeling more energy and less mood swings.

If you eat dairy or meat products buy 'em from a whole foods market with no hormones or antibiotics. Find out more at http://www.themeatrix.com

When you indulge - do it "on purpose." Go out with friends and order one decadent dessert with four spoons. Or, eat a half cup serving of Haagen Dasz. Savor it- make it last for 15 minutes. Repeat with Godiva chocolate. *wink* Little indulgences - make 'em last.

Hope this list is helpful.

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-08T20:53:00.000-08:00

Daily Ways to Nurture Yourself and Peace of Mind
(Part 3 of 3)

Take a bubble bath with candles and soothing music.

Go to bed extra early.

Buy a pair of pretty, soft, comfy jammies - and wear them.

Spend a solid 10 minutes before going to bed putting on all your moisturizers and stuff that you buy but often don't take time to use. Be girl-y on purpose. Put the stuff on your hands, too. In a couple days you’ll really start noticing how much softer your skin is when you wake up in the morning.

Meditate or pray. Don’t get to specific or controlling about the “form” or “way” that you want things to show up. God or Spirit is much more open-minded and infinite in his/her thinking – so don’t limit yourself.

Learn about Feng Shui. Start doing little Feng Shui fixes to your home and workspace. You will feel better and get what you want more quickly and effortlessly.

Buy yourself flowers. Go to a Farmers Market where they're an inexpensive indulgence.

Think about what you want to be in the future. Start saying that's what you are. It's not "fake it till you make it" it's "practise the future." You'll start stepping into that role as your new reality.

Go to services at a church, temple or synagogue. Don't gripe about how everyone is probably a hypocrite. Really listen to the message of the sermon or talk by the clergy person. A couple types of guilt free churches? Unity and Religious Science.

Go to a gym and workout. Take a yoga class. Make a habit of exercise. Increase a little bit every week. Gradually build up to 4-5 days a week.

Give up crappy food. Stuff that adds no nutrtional value like white flour, deep fried anything, white rice, pasta, french fries. It's all poison. Gradually clean up your body. You'll gradually start feeling more energy and less mood swings.

If you eat dairy or meat products buy 'em from a whole foods market with no hormones or antibiotics. Find out more at http://www.themeatrix.com

When you indulge - do it "on purpose." Go out with friends and order one decadent dessert with four spoons. Or, eat a half cup serving of Haagen Dasz. Savor it- make it last for 15 minutes. Repeat with Godiva chocolate. *wink* Little indulgences - make 'em last.

Hope this list is helpful.

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Daily Ways to Nurture Yourself and Peace of Mind
(Part 2 of 3)

By Denise Michaels

Read a book with a cup of tea or cocoa

Go to a movie in the middle of the afternoon

Start using excellent posture and great eye contact. When you shake hands with people - shake till you see the color of their eyes. People will treat you better.

Go buy a cute pair of shoes

Write out what "My Perfect Day" would look like for you. In the midst of a rough time - this can be a healing exercise to get you back on track again.

Clean out a closet or a drawer and get rid of stuff that doesn't fit, is torn, stained or doesn't suit your personality any more.

Go to the mall and get something that does fit and suit your personality now.

Dress your best - unless you're doing housework or yardwork. Even if you're casual be coordinated and well groomed with nice accessories. Nothing sloppy ever. If you work at home you're not doing it for "the office" you're doing it for you.

Get rid of anything unflattering to your body. Shoes shined, nice make-up. People treat you better when you look nice and you'll feel better. This is important for all women but especially for plus-size gals. As a former size 22, I know.

Find a buddy and go for a hike in nature.

If you live in a winter climate - go outdoors and enjoy the brilliant sun dancing off the snow. Dress warmly and go for a walk.

Sit outdoors on your porch for 15-20 minutes to get a new perspective.

Take extra time doing your hair and makeup in the morning.

Get a new haircut and style. Tell the stylist about your life, your work and how much time you have in the morning. Let 'em do his thing. I've gotten my best haircuts this way. Stop clinging the the same ol' thing because it's comfortable. Step out on the wild side. Be open to adventure - it's only hair!

(Please come back and visit this blog again for part 3 of this article.)

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-04T23:43:00.000-08:00

Daily Ways to Nurture Yourself and Peace of Mind (Part 1 of 3)

By Denise Michaels

An online friend of mine mentioned the other day that she was feeling blue. It happens. In addition to being a good listener I made a list of things we can do as women over 40 to feel better about ourselves, our circumstances and our world. I believe it’s important to
start doing little things to take care of yourself - especially in the midst of whatever is going on around you. Little rituals can help us in amazing ways.

Self-care is so important. Yet as women we often take care of everyone else and think we are selfish or self-absorbed if we do anything to take care of ourselves. We can be much better as a support for others if we take care of ourselves first. Remember, before flying on a plane when they give emergency instructions they say, “Always put your own air mask on before helping others.

Think about what would feel nurturing to you and what would cause others to treat you the way you deserve to be treated as an intelligent, caring woman. I try to think of ways to nurture myself without turning to food - of course unless it's mealtime.

Make a list of things you can do that make you feel nurtured during times of stress. Here are a few that I enjoy - your list will probably be different.

Call a friend on the phone

Go for a twenty minute brisk walk

Curl up on the bed and watch TV for an hour

Go get a manicure

Go to a well-to-do place - my favorite is a fancy hotel lobby - dress nicely so you fit in - sit, watch people a bit and write. Cost = zero. Order a cup of tea or a lemonade if a waiter comes by. Act as if you belong there.

(Come back and visit again for parts 2 and 3 of this article.)

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-04T23:38:00.000-08:00

The Power of Self-Esteem (Part 4 of 4)

By Dorothy Lafrinere

Ask yourself the next time you feel threatened, "If I do not stop this negative thought, will it change who I am, or make me that of which I envy?" NOT and NO!!!!! Please realize this, only you are suffering in that pit. Only you are losing out on all the smiles that life has right at your reach. You are in control of your happiness. You can toss off all those comments or remarks. You can turn your back on someones else's weakness or problems that may cause you to feel less than who you really are. Let them suffer in their own stupidity. No one can threaten you, but you. Do this also when you feel the challenge of negative versus positive thinking:

BREATHE DEEPLY

IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE

NOW THINK THE POSITIVE

ACT UPON IT

BREATHE AGAIN DEEPLY

PAT YOURSELF FOR WINNING THAT WAR

NOW SMILE

YOU NOW HAVE, "THE POWER OF SELF-ESTEEM!

Trust me, the more you create this habit, my friends, the easier it becomes. Like anything else worth having in life, it is not going to come easy, but it does come and it is oh so sweet!!!!!!

"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building their nests in your hair." -Chinese Proverb

Dorothy Lafrinere, Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-11-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

The Power of Self-Esteem (Part 3 of 4)

By Dororth Lafrinere

Your goal is to offset the mind-body reaction to the stresses we are constantly forced to deal with through society. The power of self-esteem can be gained if you really want it. I know that I have filled my website and my articles with everything from A-Z on steps to get you there.

Women are still in constant belief that only overweight woman, or not so pretty woman (by society`s standards) are at risk of losing the power of self-esteem.
Again I repeat this over and over, please read ,"Why Do Pretty Girls Cry". It's all there. I speak of the pretty girls, and society`s way of convincing you that only ugly girls cry. I know that is a harsh statement, but I am trying to get through to every person on earth that the power of self-esteem is in each and everyone of us. We are all born with it. Yes we all have our reasons for our weaknesses. OK, now that we know that, lets move on.

How can we fight off the negative thoughts that bring us down? Through my thoughts in my website and blogs, you can educate yourself and learn to improve your thinking habits. It is possible, but not easy at all. That is the reason so many of you fail to gain the power of self-esteem. You have no consistent learning strength. You fear anything that takes time and dedication.

Then why is it that you will search endlessly through every search engine for ways to get you through this hell you are in, pay a nonsensical amount of money to a therapist to tell you what you already know, cut yourself, or make your body suffer through eating disorders, not to mention put yourself and your friends in so much turmoil over your inability to create better mind over matter habits? Can you see what I see there? I see that you do have the power of self-esteem. You do have the patience, the will and the strength to shine. You do not need to worry about anything. You choose to worry and you allow the negative thoughts.

Dorothy Lafrinere, Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

The Power of Self-esteem (Part 2 of 4)

By Dororth Lafrinere

We can run through our past, over and over and over again. We can bang our heads on the wall, we can create eating disorders in ourselves, we can cut up our bodies just to feel something, or we can even turn away from everyone we love and cherish for fear they may just find that one tiny keyhole to unlock our self-pity trap we are in.

We can do just about anything to not find the strength to gain back the power of self-esteem. It is after all the easy road to take, is it not? To fail, to cry out for sympathy, to get attention, even if it is the wrong attention. I have learned one very important thing in all my work through helping women gain the power of self-esteem, no matter how many times you see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, smarter, happier, better spoken, or with a Colgate smile you envy, the sun will come up tomorrow with or without you.

Your worries and self-pity are caused by your weakness to control the power of self-esteem that is inside of you. It is waiting to be used as the gift you were born with. You can spend hours hurting and suffering inside because you are not, or cannot be who you think you should have been. You must stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by the world. When your mind feels threatened, it will automatically react to protect you. This is where your thoughts and your actions collide. Confusion becomes part of your thinking now and this is when the negative emotions take over fast and furious. Into the pit, you go.

The ability to shift your focus to positive mental thoughts during stress is the most important link needed to escape any emotional trap we fall into. The power of self-esteem is all about your first thought and how you deal with it. It is at that split second that you have to decide to think positively or just plain toss it out of your head. Tossing negative thoughts is something I have mentioned before,"HABITS".

Dorothy Lafrinere, Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Tell your friends about this site! This blog is provided by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

The Power of Self-Esteem (Part 1 of 4)

By Dorothy Lafrinere

Why are there so many women haunted by a low self-esteem ?
I have shared many thoughts through out my blogs on feelings, jealousy, worries, fears, and self-esteem. Every day I receive mail from all over the world from women suffering from a lack of inner power to get through the day, due to a low self-esteem. It does not only affect their relationships at home, it also follows them into their work place, where they are being suffocated from a lack of confidence.
In the work place the power of self-esteem needs to be high so that one's confidence can guide them through actions such as: important decision making, dealings with the opposite sex boss, office politics, other staff members trying to gain on your efforts, talking to clients or customers on the phone or in person, dealing with rejection regarding your work, and even things as simple as fitting into the social side of your job (making friends). People deal with this everyday, and when they are suffering inside, their power of self-esteem is definitely very low. Then they still have to deal with the rest of their day. It's no wonder the corner bar looks like a nice hide-away.

There are two parts to the meaning of the power of self-esteem:
1: self-acceptance, which is an appreciation of ones worth as a human being.
2: self-confidence, the knowing that you are competent enough to use your gifts to their fullest.

To have the power of self-esteem, one must be able to feel both emotions in a positive manner. Through one's life, they have learned through negative experiences to doubt themselves, to fear criticism and ridicule. They have also learned to cut themselves down at a glance of someone else they deem to be richer, prettier, or smarter. They eventually lose the power of self-esteem.

(This article to be continued on the next 3 posts.)

Dorothy Lafrinere, Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Tell your firends about this site! This blog was set up by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

The Value of Spontaneity (Part 3 of 3)

By Joe Love

There are many other ways to be spontaneous in conventional and accepted ways. Brainstorming sessions are a form of spontaneity. And there is always someone in a company or organization who is regarded as the "creative one." For example, the "creative one" is the person that everyone can always count on to give a seminar on how to problem-solve creatively to promote the idea of spontaneity in the workplace.

Unfortunately people don’t allow themselves enough spontaneity. We have been conditioned that to get ahead, you often need to hold back. We tend to go for the group consensus, which also has its benefits. But when you don’t have the freedom to make spontaneous comments or create ideas spontaneously, you’re missing out on one of the best ways to work and live.

People who are spontaneous are confident, natural, and mentally healthy. They follow a process in which they open up their mind to explore all possible solutions to a problem, and then they let go of their agenda, ego, beliefs, and attitudes, and allow their creative flow to explore the different possibilities. When you are able to put yourself through this process you will enable yourself to achieve the highest levels of success.

Copyright©2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of America’s largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology. Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com or http://www.jlmandassociates.com

2005-10-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

The Value of Spontaneity (Part 2 of 3)

By Joe Love

No one wants a leader who bounces back and forth in the corporate wind, lurching from whim to whim with no basis for the decision. That’s not spontaneity, it’s impulsiveness. If you have qualities such as integrity, honesty, and the ability to see the big picture, then you’re a person who is willing take intelligent risks, and see your decision through. When you have these qualities you will be more successful when you are faced with situations in which you have to implement an idea or course of action spontaneously.

These basic qualities are important because, they will enable you to earn the trust of your colleagues. Your coworkers will be less resistant to what they might see as a seat-of-the-pants kind of decision. Your colleagues or subordinates will follow your game plan because they will trust you.

For example, let’s say the CEO of your company is out of the office and your company’s largest client calls to report a problem that needs immediate executive input. You quickly assemble your executive team, discover how the problem happened and respond to the client with a solution. Even though your solution was devised quickly, and was perhaps a little unorthodox, the staff followed your directives because they trust you. However, if the executive down the hall had been in charge, employees would have balked, because he or she doesn’t have the trust of his or her colleagues.

So how can you develop your spontaneity, without making others feel uncomfortable? Here are few suggestions:

* Understand that issues or problems will crop up that need attention immediately. They cannot wait, because if they do, they will become worse.

* Understand that many of those around you are uncomfortable with snap decisions. They don’t trust quick reactions because they don’t think that much time or effort has gone into their development. Some won’t see the need for a quick course of action.

* Understand that some of those around you may not be able to communicate the need for immediate attention to a particular issue or event. Be able to judge the severity of the problem and the timetable in which it needs to be solved.

* When you determine a course of action, always explain to others the rationale behind it.

* Let others know that your plan my be a short-term solution or stopgap measure and that other remedies may be needed for the future. Know that being spontaneous means changing course quickly and sometimes often. Never follow a course out of stubbornness. Rather, be able to see the need to switch gears based on principles of logic.

* Spontaneous people make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to admit you’ve made a mistake, and then get on with your life. As the saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Copyright©2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of America’s largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology. Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com or http://www.jlmandassociates.com

This blog was set up by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

The Value of Spontaneity (Part 1 of 3)

by Joe Love

Think about the people in your life who you would consider spontaneous. They seem so alive, don’t they? They are so positive and confident. With a little work, you can develop your natural spontaneity.

Spontaneity means acting in accordance with a natural feeling, impulse or tendency without any constant, effort or premeditation. For example, it’s coming to a fork in the road and quickly making an intelligent decision. Or it’s making an impromptu speech to a group of coworkers, explaining a problem or issue and quickly providing a viable solution that will save time or money. It’s even walking through the front door of you home with flowers for your spouse.

While all these scenarios sound desirable to most of us, spontaneity has long been a neglected asset. Many people look skeptically at spontaneity, as if it is a sign of flightiness rather than a valuable asset. But high-achieving men and women know the advantages of being spontaneous, and making it part of their daily lives.
Spontaneity is a trait that many people incorrectly believe is of better use in your personal life than in your business life. Most people would agree on the value of spontaneity in relationships, where it’s a quality that can keep the excitement going. It breaks up the humdrum of the daily routine, and it allows for some creativity and fun. In a relationship, things can get stale, and spontaneity keeps things fresh.

But, spontaneity in the workplace is equally valuable. People often get bogged down by the fear of negative reaction or the fear of being criticized. Instead you need to allow yourself to take some risks. Some of your ideas will work out, and some won’t: these are the facts of life. Spontaneity can be risky, but that’s part of the fun of it.

Spontaneity can help reduce stress or even better, it can trigger a kind of positive stress, the kind that produces creativity and energizes you. For example, when unexpected problems come up, if you tackle them spontaneously, while keeping your mind open to all the possible solutions, you will feel less burdened and anxious than you would if you’d let the problem sit there.

(Parts 2 and 3 of this article will be shared in future blog posts.)

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. He is the founder and CEO of JLM & Associates, a consulting and training organization, specializing in personal and business development. Through his seminars and lectures, Joe Love addresses thousands of men and women each year, including the executives and staffs of many of America’s largest corporations, on the subjects of leadership, self-esteem, goals, achievement, and success psychology. Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com or http://www.jlmandassociates.com

This blog was set up by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-24T15:12:00.000-07:00

How to Change Your Attitude

by Kathy Williamson

What type of person grabs your attention and motivates you? Usually it’s a person who is very passionate about what he or she is doing. She’s on fire and her excitement floods the room she is in. When she talks something inside you gets stirred - the desire also to be passionate about something. Anything! You don’t want to leave her presence because you hope that some of that passion will rub off on you.

When you find yourself stuck in a boring situation (whether it’s your job or other circumstances), how do you change things? How do you get some hope and passion into your life? How do you find a meaningful purpose for your existence? How do you get out of the rut of negative thinking and pity parties?

To change our attitude requires us to do several things. First, realize that we choose our attitude. Even though our situation may not change, our outlook changes when we have the right attitude. We choose to change our attitude even though our mind tells us different. How many times do we listen to the negative thoughts instead of what God says about us? We can only have one thought occur at one time, although the thoughts can come very fast. So if we choose to think on the positive promises of God, then we don’t allow the negative thoughts to dominate. When we choose to believe God and act accordingly, our new attitudes take root deep in our heart, making our choices automatic.

Second, our new attitude becomes permanent when we change our underlying false beliefs. Many times we believe the negative thoughts in our head and allow ourselves to meditate upon them because, believe it or not, it feels good! Some of us have beaten ourselves up mentally for so many years that we don’t have any other way of thinking. We actually believe these lies and don’t do anything to search out whether or not they are true.

If we want to change, then we have to take responsibility for our thoughts. We must do whatever it takes to uncover the truth about ourselves - from God’s perspective. We don’t turn to others to get their opinion of us; we turn to God and find out what He thinks about us. God created us and provides great promises for our future. But sometimes there are things we must do to have many of these promises fulfilled in our life. Whenever we come across a promise from God in the Bible, we need to look at surrounding Scripture to see if there is something we need to do before God will fulfill the promise.

How we view ourselves improves greatly just by consistently reading the Bible. We gain an understanding of how much God loves us and how His love is unconditional. We don’t have to do anything to earn God’s love, just accept it. Once we experience God’s love, we find ourselves loving others with the same type of unconditional love.

Third, we become who we hang around with! The five people we spend the most time around influence us, whether we want them to or not! But there is one Person we can hang around with whose influence will override the negative attitudes bombarding us from these individuals. And that is God. By spending more time reading the Bible, praying and asking the Holy Spirit to reveal spiritual things to us, and meditating upon what we learn, we can keep our attitudes in proper check. This is great news because this is something we can do without having to wait until we find positive people to hang around with.

Fourth, we must identify what stirs our passion and begin formulating a plan to utilize that passion on a consistent basis. We may not be able to support ourselves in a full-time job doing our passion, but we can find ways to increase how often we do that item, thereby improving our attitude..

Our first step is to ask God to reveal to us the specific purpose for which He created us. This doesn’t have to be some major influence. God uses all of us in concert to accomplish His overall purposes. No matter how big or small your purpose is, when used in conjunction with the purposes of others, the whole picture develops and no part is more important than the other.

Discovering our passion and using it on a weekly basis makes a major impact on our overall attitude. The new knowledge we learn from God takes root in our heart from our actions. When this happens, a lot of our underlying self-pity dissolves as a by-product. But we need to be consistent in operating within our passion; that is why I suggest doing it at least weekly.

Here’s an example from my life. I knew that I enjoyed helping people overcome their problems and also sharing God’s love with them. Even though I didn’t have all the answers (and still don’t!) I began volunteering as a lay counselor on a Christian-based crisis hotline. At the time I started I was going through a major depression and dealing with many other problems. However, within four months my life took a dramatic turnaround and I no longer was down in the dumps. I was totally surprised by such a quick change. My momentum stirred me to continuously choose the right attitude.

By volunteering once a week it also gave me the motivation to get through the things I was struggling with each week. One key point is that I chose to volunteer at a time when I was most vulnerable (Saturday nights). I later added another shift to volunteer to cover another vulnerable time.

Through the years of doing this crisis counseling God began to mold and shape my vision for what He wanted me to do for His glory. I now write books teaching people how to apply biblical principles to their daily living. What I do coincides with what others are doing with their passion. Together we make a difference in this world for Jesus Christ.

I encourage you to make the right choices, learn God’s truths about who you are because of your relationship with Jesus Christ, spend more time with God than with negative people, and find your passion in life so you too can impact this world for God’s glory!

Kathy Williamson teaches biblical principles to help people overcome their problems and discover God's will for their lives. Her book, teachings and ezine can be found on her website at http://www.wisdomforliving.org

This blog was set up by Denise Michaels. To see more blogs by Denise go to http://www.GreatIdeasForWomenOver40.com Michaels is author of the myth-shattering book, "Testosterone-Free Marketing" for women business owners. Go to http://www.MarketingForHer.com and click on "Get the Book!"

2005-10-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

Why Positive Thinking Doesn't Work

Sometimes we need a counterpoint to the same old stuff when it seems like we're trying a little too hard to manifest what we want. While in the final analysis of course positive thinking does work - the point this article really is making is how powerful our words are in the results we get in our lives.

- Denise Michaels

Article by Julie Plenty

There was someone I used to work with who, well aware of their tendency to look at the negative side of things, used to constantly tell themselves to "think more positively".

This was said with such a feeling of desperation that I just knew that not only would they NOT think positively, they would probably go even further into negative thinking. The mere fact that they kept pushing themselves to "think positively" was a sign that this would ultimately be counterproductive.

So many of us have interpreted the desire to be positive thinkers in a very narrow and ultimately ineffective way. The push to be positive often results in ignoring our true feelings. Instead of recognizing that we don't always feel positive and learning how to convert and turn round our feelings, it so often ends up with us denying them altogether.

The Law of Attraction, as defined by Abraham Hicks states that "you attract to yourself what you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted".

One reason why positive thinking doesn't work is that our focus is in the wrong place. So we say "I don't want to be ill" and believe that this thought will prevent us from being ill. So where is our focus? On being ill! Because the Universe doesn't recognize "not" or "don't". How many times have you told yourself NOT to forget something and then what happens? Oops you've forgotten it!

Another reason why positive thinking doesn't work is that we often veil our negative feelings with a positive surface. So we say "I want a loving relationship". Sounds good right? Except that underneath there is the hidden message that having a loving relationship wouldn't even be an issue - unless you'd been in one or a series of not so loving relationships.

So it's the hidden message and negative feeling around it, that is still coming through. Ultimately, you're still pushing against something and it's still counterproductive. You're likely to attract more unloving relationships, even though you THINK you've stated otherwise.

How can you begin to reverse this? Rather than focusing on your thoughts, focus on your feelings about a given situation or what you would like the situation to be. Start to visualise and sense what you truly desire. Focus on ramping up good, positive, energetic feelings about what you desire, rather than the thought.

Practically you can do this by building a "creation box" of pictures, ideas, notes, to stimulate your imagination of how you'd like things to be. Appreciating lifes abundance in what you already have by keeping an appreciation journal, feeling and acting like the prosperous person you actually are and channelling your good feelings into what you desire.

In fact, instead of being a positive thinker, aim to become a positive feeler - it's much more visceral and real. Live your life as though you already have what you desire and you'll make way for it to come to you.

Julie Plenty helps writers, artists and photographers prosper in their business by helping them build a strong personal foundation, because they ARE their business. For more self growth and personal development articles, and to sign up for her Life Design newsletter, visit: http://www.self-help-personal-development.com

2005-10-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

The Power of Gratitude

I like this article because it's so simple and yet so powerful. Lea, the author, is a wonderful woman who is always full of laughter and fun. While I know she has had her share of challening times the last couple years, she always looks on the bright side and is filled with positive, enlightened energy.

Denise Michaels

"First, you believe that there is one intelligent substance, from which all things proceed. Second, you believe that this substance gives you everything you desire. And third, you relate yourself to it by a feeling of deep and profound gratitude."

--Wallace Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

At one of my seminars the assignment for that day was to make a list of beliefs that each one of us have that has tremendous effect on our lives depending if the belief is enhancing our life or sabotaging it.

This woman, let’s call her Debbie, had a big list written on a piece of paper. When I asked her to talk about one of those believes she feels has a big effect on her life, her answer was: Scarcity. I asked her to be more specific about what kind of scarcity she was talking about.

This was her answer: Let’s say for example someone took a drop of water from the ocean, it will create scarcity. Who will replace that drop of water? I asked her: who do you think created the ocean? The Universe created it and therefore the Universe will replace it. There is no scarcity of any kind in the Universe. Scarcity is a creation of human beings. Take as many drops of water from the ocean as you like; the ocean doesn’t care.

Why am I telling you this story? The reason is because I would like to talk with you about, “The Power of Gratitude.” If Debbie really knew and understood The Power of Gratitude, is knew how to be grateful for what she already has, the word scarcity would not even cross her mind. She would not experience any scarcity.

We as human beings, have a tendency to take everything in our life for granted, until something drastic or unexpected occurs.

My advice to Debbie was, whenever she feels lack or scarcity in anything she should shift her thoughts from feelings of scarcity to feeling of Gratitude. She should concentrate and focus on what she already has. If Debbie would count her blessings in her life she would start to receive more. I suggested that she make a list of everything she is grateful for on a daily basis. For example:

I wake up in the morning and see the sun shine, I am grateful. And say to myself “WOW” what a beautiful day. When I feel grateful it puts a smile on my face.

I am grateful to the person who invented the shower-head when I take a shower.

I am grateful for being able to go outside and breath the fresh air, to smell the roses, to talk to my plants and praise them about how well they are doing.

By the way my plants are envy of all my neighbors. They don’t understand how come my plants are doing so well while theirs’ just die.

Why am I doing it? Because being grateful for anything we will attract more of it. This is one of the Universal principles!
Don't you want more more Good Fortune, Health, Wealth and Freedom? Are you ready to create and attract these conditions for yourself? If so, here is your assignment to complete on a daily basis:

Be grateful for five different things that you presently have in your life.
Remember, just saying the words will not do it. You really have to feel it with every fiber of your being. After a while you will feel the change in your life.
Go ahead and visit: http://www.godwhoami.com

I looking forward to hearing from you with the positive changes in your life. You can email me at: lea@godwhoami.com

With Love and Gratitude,
Lea Yekutiel
www.godwhoami.com

2005-09-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

The 15 Secrets That Successful Women Know

Dr. Gayla Swihart DeHart

Women are fabulous! They are resourceful, determined, complex, resilient, & compassionate. They are able to endure pregnancy, childbirth, child-raising, heartbreak, husband-raising, being the career women, and running the household (housecleaning, bill paying, activities coordinator, sexy vixen, hostess, etc, etc.). Learn how successful women make it all happen, while looking, feeling and being fabulous.

Make more time for yourself. You need to invest time in yourself in order for you to be living your ‘best life.’ You need time to take care of yourself, time to rest, time to grow, and time for the other 14 things on this list!

Surround yourself with successful people who you admire. You have heard the saying “dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” This is a similar principle. Being around people you admire is like a crash course in how you want your life to be, and often these people will help you find the shortcut to your dream life.

Network. Positive networking means that you meet lots of new people every week and find out what YOU can do for THEM, and then, when possible, DO IT! (see The Frog and Prince: Secrets of Positive Networking; Rezac, Thomson & Hallgren, 2003). This will widen your network and give you access to people and services that you may need somewhere down the line. People will know who you are, what you offer, and many will want to help you; too often you don't even have to ask.

Develop a strong social support system. Women get so busy that they can forget to call their friends, their family members, and their neighbors. But it is important to have people in your life that can be there for you when 'life happens' - when someone gets sick or is in an accident and you need emergency child care, a ride to the hospital, a shoulder to cry on. In return, you are there for them in an emergency. But it is a lot easier to request these favours when you have been sustaining and maintaining the relationship, not when you have been neglecting them because you have been too busy.

Get rid of toxic people in your life. Many women do not like to let go of any relationship, even if it is bad. Either we are nurturers and we think we can fix it, or we are afraid of hurting someone's feelings. However, some relationships are not worth the effort. Do you know anyone that is critical of you (in a destructive, not a constructive way)? Do you have friends/family members who drain you every time you see or talk to them? Do you associate with people who discourage your quest for success? You've got to cut or at least loosen these ties. If the relationship is very important to you, let the person know the effect that they are having on you. Perhaps these negative effects are oblivious, and they will change. But do not waste your precious time and energy on toxic people. You have too much growing to do!

Ask for help when necessary (and even when not). Ready to hear a secret? You DO NOT have to do it all. That's right. You don't have to be superwoman and be in 100 places at one time and run yourself ragged from sunrise until bedtime. Can you do everything yourself? Probably. Will you be happy doing it? Nope, I don't think so. Will you be taking good care of yourself? Will you be relaxed and happy when your family members get home from work or school? Will you look and feel your best? Heed this good advice that successful women know:

Enlist A Team - a coach, a mentor, a massage therapist, a cleaning person, etc. And if you are taking care of parents - get help! Yes, you deserve your own team of "assistants" to help you with your life.

Spend time with girlfriends. Who has time, you ask yourself? Can you afford not to? Women need to talk to other women. We can talk to each other in a way that we cannot talk to our partners, our mothers, or our children. We all need friends that we can talk to about anything who know that we are just venting and know that the information goes no further. We need to commiserate, to laugh, to talk about things that men don't think we enjoy talking about. We need a safe place to talk about our fat, our old lovers, our favorite new designers - a place where our audience is enraptured by these same topics. Not something you are always likely to get at home.

Eat well. Your mother always told you - you are what you eat! Well, you may not be a french fry, but your body will certainly treat you more nicely if you treat it nicely. Eating well will help maintain a healthy weight and provide you with the energy to need to get through your busy days. Remember to eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, stay away from junk food, fried food, and processed food, and watch your portions. A great tip is to serve your meals on smaller plates. Sometimes we eat until our plate is empty, regardless of whether we need it all or not. Don't deny yourself foods that you love. Just indulge in small amounts.

Exercise. This should be a top priority. Exercise can help you to: manage your weight, deal with stress, prevent osteoporosis, have more energy, be stronger, prevent heart disease, prevent cancer, and of course, feel, look and BE younger.

Get enough sleep. This provides you more physical, mental, and emotional resources so that you can more effectively deal with your busy schedule and keep stress at bay. You will look and feel better.

Continue to learn and grow. This helps keep you young – it’s true! One way of postponing/preventing dementia is to participate in life-long learning. It will also make you more well rounded and interesting, and more importantly, will make the world more interesting to you!

Get a coach. A coach can help you get your dreams on the map- can help you discover what your true desires are and help you find a way to live the biggest life that you can. The years pass by more quickly with time, and as far as we know, we only have one life – so why not do everything you can to make the most of it? That way, at the end of your life you will have no regrets.

Groom yourself so you look AND feel like a million bucks all the time. You don't ever want to have to hide your hands or toes because they aren't properly taken care of. Successful women are always confident about their appearance because they put the time in on a consistent basis to maintain an acceptable baseline level of grooming. Every city has the crème de la crème of hairstylists - pay an extra $20 or $50 and keep your look fresh.

Dream Big. If it isn't on your map, there is no way to get there. If it is as least a spot on your map, there is a much better chance that you will find your way there, although it would be helpful to take a more pro-active approach. See: "Get a Coach".

Give Back. Get involved (or at least donate to) your favorite charity, be a mentor, support programs in your community. Remember secret # 6- everyone could use a little help.

Do these secrets sound like fun? They are! And THAT is the final secret! You DON'T have to run yourself ragged; you DON'T have to do it all. Taking care of yourself is like putting money in the bank. The more you invest, the greater your returns. Incorporate as many of these tips into your life as soon as possible, and if this seems like a daunting task, enlist the help of a coach. You can be successful AND happy too!

Dr. Gayla Swihart DeHart, from Vancouver, Canada, is a Professional Coach with a Ph.D. in Psychology. She helps busy professionals manage stress, improve goal-setting and follow-through, and increase life and work satisfaction. More information on Dr. DeHart and her services can be found at http://www.AchieveExcellence.ca.

This article has been brought to you by Denise Michaels. Visit her site at http://www.MarketingforHer.com

2005-09-09T22:42:00.000-07:00

Self-Image for Mature Women

By Jeannine Schenewerk

Over the past few years, I’ve read articles on menopause, wherein certain agencies have published the results of surveys given to mature women in that phase of life. One of the queries always concerns whether or not the woman’s sexual desire has diminished. There is usually a short list of possible ‘physical’ side effects of menopause listed on these surveys. Side effects that may be causing her decreased interest in sexual intimacy. I have yet to see a ‘psychological’ list of reasons offered. Having spoken to a number of women fifty and over, I can state unequivocally, psychological reasons for decreased libido may well far outnumber the physical. In addition, it’s my belief that today’s society may be in great part responsible for the psychological damage from which these women suffer.

In our modern society, the mature woman seems to be non-existent, as far as the visual media is concerned. Anyone watching television, viewing films, or thumbing through popular magazines, can easily verify this fact. Women over a certain age are just not represented. In the rare instances they are seen, it is usually not in the role of a feminine, desirable, woman. Most advertisers hawking products in the women-related categories of cosmetics, fashion and intimate apparel, completely ignore women past the age of thirty. It’s quite amusing to see ‘anti-aging’ beauty product ads, trumpeting ‘fantastic’ results, using models barely out of their twenties.

Interestingly enough, older men are quite prominently displayed in ads, usually in the company of much younger women. We women have allowed ourselves to be brainwashed. We have been programmed, consistently, to base our self-worth, our sexuality, our ‘womanliness’, on youthful, physical looks alone. When I read of women in their late twenties, early thirties, opting for surgical cosmetic enhancements, in attempts to stave off the natural effects of the aging process, I’m appalled!

What message does the visual media send? Quite simply that mature women are neither visually attractive, nor sexually desirable. Access any online women’s magazine, and peruse its message boards. There you will find postings from women desperately seeking to halt, or alter, the aging process. Endeavoring to transform themselves into the youthful, enhanced images they are bombarded with daily, may become an obsessive quest, one that is doomed to failure. Is it any wonder that many mature women suffer from low to no, self-esteem? Is it any wonder, as well, many of these women find themselves less inclined to sexual intimacy?

‘I just don’t feel sexy’. This was a statement made to me by a fifty-year-old woman I’ll call ‘Betty’. When I asked her reasons for this statement, her reply was quite to the point. Betty told me she despises her looks. She said the image she sees in her mirror is not one she would call attractive, or desirable, based on the prevailing ‘beauty standards’ of today. As far as sexual intimacy with her partner, she told me although she enjoys sex, she finds she increasingly avoids the intimacy. She is simply too depressed over her looks, feeling totally inadequate.

Another woman I’ll call ‘Sue’ told me she had much the same opinion of herself as had Betty. She admitted the steady stream of images of young, nubile, firm, smooth-skinned women appearing on her television screen nightly, made her increasingly self-conscious about her physical appearance, with her husband. She remarked that he constantly presented her with expensive lingerie that she refused to don. The woman told me she felt ridiculous wearing it, regarding herself at the age of fifty-four as ‘too old’ for such attire.

Therefore, the lovely lingerie wound up unworn and stored away. Sue added that her relationship with her husband had been strained for quite some time, and though she realized it was due to the lack of sexual intimacy between them, she was unable to get past her feelings about herself. Eventually it appeared that their twenty-five year marriage was heading for dissolution. Sue’s husband was ready to call it quits, because, as he told her, he felt she no longer loved or desired him. His pronouncement led to Sue’s being completely open and honest with her husband about her feelings concerning her own self-image.

It’s vitally important, today, for we mature women to begin realizing our very real value, and setting an example for our daughters, and granddaughters. We must chart a course for them, that they may realize that women over thirty do not fade away, and just disappear! It must be taught that youth is a convenient mask we wear for awhile, concealing the unformed ‘self’. They must realize that as we mature, and ‘self’ forms, the mask of youth fades away, revealing who we are, and what we have become, as human beings.

We must demonstrate that mature women, who have developed interests, who have continually striven to enlighten and enrich themselves intellectually, and spiritually, and who possess a genuine love of life, and living, are incredibly attractive. We must prove the truth. They must come to realize that a mature woman’s confidence, insight, accumulated wisdom, and self-knowledge make her intensely desirable, and her sexuality is heightened by her ability to be an equal partner in the art of lovemaking. We must endeavor to de-program them, teaching them that what they see portrayed in the visual media as to women, is contrived illusion. It’s up to us, ladies, how our daughters and granddaughters will one day greet their maturity.

Jeannine Schenewerk is a freelance writer residing in Atlanta, Georgia. She maintains an inspirational, informative, upbeat site for mature women. Her site contains articles on positive self image, and common sense tips on make-up, skin care, diet, exercise, fashion, and more.

This article has been brought to you by Denise Michaels. Visit her site at http://www.MarketingforHer.com

2005-09-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

"Power of Positive Thinking May Have a Health Benefit, Study Says"

by Erica Goode, NY Times

ost people accept the idea that stress and depression chip away at the body's natural ability to fight off disease. But many medical scientists have remained skeptical that the mind can exert such a direct influence over the immune system.

In recent years, however, evidence has accumulated that psychology can indeed affect biology. Studies have found, for example, that people who suffer from depression are at higher risk for heart disease and other illnesses. Other research has shown that wounds take longer to heal in women who care for patients with Alzheimer's disease than in other women who are not similarly stressed. And people under stress have been found to be more susceptible to colds and flu, and to have more severe symptoms after they fall ill.

Now a new study adds another piece to the puzzle. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin are reporting today that the activation of brain regions associated with negative emotions appears to weaken people's immune response to a flu vaccine.

"It's the first time that the brain has really been brought into the picture," said Dr. Richard J. Davidson, director of the university's Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience and a senior author of the report, which appears in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

During a task that required experiencing negative emotions, greater electrical activity in the brain's right prefrontal cortex predicted a weaker immune response six months later, as measured by the subjects' level of antibodies to the flu shot, the researchers found. Greater activation in the left prefrontal cortex was associated with a stronger immune response.

In earlier work, Dr. Davidson and his colleagues have found that regions of the right prefrontal cortex are active during emotional responses involving anger, fear and sadness. The left prefrontal cortex appears to be more active in association with positive emotions, like feeling enthusiastic and upbeat, according to the research.

Dr. Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, a professor of psychiatry at Ohio State University College of Medicine and an expert on stress and immunity, said the new study was "some of the best evidence we've seen to date."

"They have a very nice link to what happens if you meet a bacterium or a virus in real life," she said, "and they're saying that if you have the response style you're talking about here, you're going to be at greater risk for getting it."

In the study, 52 women, ages 57 to 60, were asked to think and write about extremely positive and extremely negative events in their lives. The women were participants in a continuing long-term study of high school graduates from the class of 1957.

In the positive emotion condition, the women were instructed to spend one minute recalling an experience of "intense happiness or joy, specifically the best time or experience in their life," and then to spend five minutes writing about it. In the negative emotion condition, the subjects did the same for an event that inspired "intense sadness, fear or anger, the worst time or experience in their life."

Electrical activity in the brain's prefrontal cortex — an area known to be centrally involved in emotion — was recorded by electroencephalogram while the women were thinking about their experiences and after the writing ended. Then the participants were given a flu vaccine.

Six months later, the researchers found, the subjects who showed the most activity in the brain's right prefrontal cortex also had the lowest antibodies. Brain activation during the positive-emotions condition was not linked to differences in antibody levels.

Dr. Davidson said it was not clear what factors accounted for the differences in brain activation and immune response, but genetic and environmental influences might play a role.

Still, he added, the findings offered hints to how a person's mood might ultimately affect susceptibility to illness. The right prefrontal cortex, for example, communicates with certain types of immune cells, and stress appears to alter the functioning of a chemical messenger, dopamine, in the region. In addition, the right prefrontal cortex interacts with the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, a major player in the body's stress system, which in turn is linked to the immune system.

"The brain has the capacity to modulate peripheral physiology," Dr. Davidson said, "and it modulates it in ways that may be consequential for health."

But he also cautioned against overstating the power of mind over body in producing illness. There is no evidence, for example, that cancer is caused or affected by negative moods or attitudes, and many illnesses, Dr. Davidson said, may be unaffected by the neural changes set off by stress.

"This is one factor among a whole host of factors," he said, "and very likely it is not the most important one."

This article dated September 2, 2003 can be found at http://www.nytimes.com

2005-08-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

The Case For Self Care
By Jennifer Snyder

Self care has emerged as a hot topic for today’s women striving to balance the responsibilities of work and family. I define self care as combinations of fulfilling activities or quiet moments that allow individuals to rejuvenate their energies and regain their joy for life.

Unfortunately, self care is not generally supported by our culture, and some people equate self care with abandoning responsibilities or being self centered. Women often receive rave reviews for taking better care of others than they do themselves. For example, we might hear, “Isn’t Sarah remarkable; she puts everyone’s needs above her own.” Or “That, Lisa, I don’t know how she operates on just five hours of sleep a night; isn’t she extraordinary?” As a result, many women are suffering near epidemic levels of physical, emotional, and spiritual fatigue.

I believe that taking time for yourself allows you to be a better wife, mother, friend, and employee. Consider the following:

Self care is empowering. When you implement any healthy practice into your routine, you are taking charge of your life. You are the expert on your needs, and if you don’t acknowledge their importance who will? We are not benefiting our families when we don’t take time for ourselves. Because we are emotionally depleted, loved ones see that we are worn out and frustrated. While we do our best to respond to their needs, they often feel guilty for needing us.

When we are overwhelmed, we lack the energy and focus to make the same clear decisions that we normally would. We are unable to problem solve in a purposeful manner. If we take care of ourselves regularly, we can better handle life’s challenges that are bound to come up in our lives.

We serve as role models for our children. When we take care of ourselves, we show them an example of positive esteem and healthy behaviors.

I moved to a new area during the summer and have had the opportunity to meet many of my new neighbors. One of my new neighbors is Kerri. Like many of us, Kerri and her husband are balancing career and family. As we introduced ourselves, I told Kerri that I conducted workshops for women, immediately launching into my explanation about the importance of self care. Kerri already understood my job and said, “I compare the importance of self care to a cup in the sink. As the cup sits there, little by little, it gathers droplets of water. No appreciable stream of water is ever needed to keep it full; there are just enough drops over time to fill it up. That’s the way it is with self care; if I take care of myself little by little, I can then give from my reserves and never become empty.”

If we do just a few things regularly, to renew our energy and revitalize our spirit, we can continue providing for others from a place of abundance. We have, within us, additional resources to share with our family and friends.

I challenge you to try some activities (either calming and reflective, or exhilarating) for the next month. Arrange some time in your schedule for self care, and notice how much better you feel. If you’d like to talk about some possibilities, feel free to give me a call.

The Author

Jennifer Snyder is the president of The Time of Your Life, a company that provides self care workshops and personal coaching services to women. She can be reached at 919/414-7197. Visit her on the web at: www.selfcareforwomen.net.

Copyright 2003 Jennifer Snyder. All rights reserved.

Article Posted: April 14, 2003

http://www.pioneerthinking.com/js_selfcare.html